Saturday, July 31, 2010

Colomns and Rows!

A real man would be in bed sleeping, instead I made a spreadsheet!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Fuck Sleeping.

Every time I see Zooey Deschanel, I get really annoyed. I don't think I like her.

And Jesse K looks like Paul Dano, and in less then 5 minutes, I'm going to search google images for this man, and I'm going to show it to Jesse K Via Facebook.


Thursday, July 15, 2010

The Sad Awakings of a Third Grader.

When I was in 3rd grade, I came to a very drastic and life altering discovery...

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and The Alphabet song  is the same fucking thing!

I know right?
My whole fucking world was turned inside out. I felt that I had just chipped the iceberg of one of the biggest and best kept secrets of the fucking world.

What would you do?

I raised my hand and prayed to god that Mrs Henke, my grade teacher would call on me.  I  was for sure that if any one would take me seriously it would be her.

Mrs Henke - "Yes, Jason?"
Me - "OMFG! Mrs Henke! Did your realize that Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and The alphabet song were played to the same music?"
Mrs Henke - "..."  *rolled eyes* "That's great, Jason. Know please go back to your homework"

What?  I couldn't believe what she had just said.  I had just explained to her what might have been the gateway to a new world of fresh beginnings.  But instead she dismissed me and sent me back to her fucking multiplication work sheets.

Some people just don't want to be shown the gruesome truth.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Law and Order: Criminal Intent Opening (Season 8: NW)

The Chronicals of a Bored Man Staying at His Dads

I have to get this down before I forget.  I am now watching Law and Order Ci With Jeff Goldbloom and the opening theme is intense. I will make sure to elaborate more on this later. I miss television, I  would like to pretend that I'm one of those douche bags that act like they are to good for for television.  But the truth is tv helped raise me, Not to the extent of Jim Carry in  the Cable Guy, but Nonetheless it has always been on. 

I miss Jamie Lee Curtis suggesting yogurt  to help me shit more often.

Im refering the activia commercials,


One hour of justice later...

Thank god for a second episode  of LAO:CI¹ and  the theme that might have
been composed by God himself. It seems that he may have had a
converstation with Dick Wolf. Talked some shit out, busted out the
sunburst strat, and just jammed out the most bad ass version of Law and
Order music ever.

dun da dun dun  dun daaaaaaa!!!³

Day 2.
I am sitting on my old mattress on the living room floor watching more tv. Laundry is in the wash,  and Im doing pretty good.

God bless

almost 2 hours later.

Im still on the mattress,  Everybody Loves Ramon  is on, and with any luck, another episode will be on next...
wait for it.....


God fucking bless you, Ray Ramono!

I don't know who decided that hot chick from the progressive commercials is named Flo.  I don't remember  ever hearing that name before.  I will accept though.
Laundry's done

¹Law and Order: Criminal Intent